A waste? What?
He said he was 27, recently divorced and had no children. He asked if I liked hockey, in all seriousness he asked all of the right questions and had all of the right answers, well that is when you are 22 and very vulnerable. How in the world did I fall for this? What was I thinking in deciding to move half way across the country with a man I had already known to lie to me? Why did I think everything would turn out fine? Was it fate? If anyone else had lied to me I'd have cut them out of my life without looking back once, what made him so special? I guess I'm just trying to figure out how, by making what (at the time didn't seem to be but now that I look back) are considered very immature, and incredibly stupid decisions?
How could I have known that I would be sitting here 9 years, 3 children and many moves later with an incredible husband, father and person? I try not to dwell on that much, but WOW was I lucky. We have our moments, and Lord knows I have my complaints but here we sit in suburbia with our 2.3 children driving our minivan proudly.
I guess when I pictured myself growing up I always wanted "this". I wanted to be a mom above all things, While all of my friends were deciding what they wanted to be when they grew up I already knew. I wanted to be a mom. Plain and simple, the rest could work itself out around me but I was going to be a mom. I found out recently that a few people in my family think that I wasted my life, wasted my potential. I honestly see no waste here, I see a house that can be crazy at times but for the most part is filled with a ton of love, a lot of hugs, kisses and a boatload of encouragement. I can see where certain family memebers feel I have "wasted away a great brain for mundane life", thankfully though I don't see it that way and neither do my children. You see? I have always tested high, in 7th grade I was testing the highest in the state on standardized tests, I was above all of the HS seniors even. I passed the SAT's and my ACT's with near perfect scores and my IQ has always been very high. Does that not qualify me to be a mom? Or to want to be a mom?
I guess I feel I'm lucky in that I get to raise the next generation, that I was blessed with knowledge, understanding, and so much love that my life would have never been complete in an office working 9 to 5 or anywhere else for that matter.
UGGHHHH, I just wish some people could keep their feelings to themselves, or else look into the eyes of my children and tell them they are a waste, you pick....
How could I have known that I would be sitting here 9 years, 3 children and many moves later with an incredible husband, father and person? I try not to dwell on that much, but WOW was I lucky. We have our moments, and Lord knows I have my complaints but here we sit in suburbia with our 2.3 children driving our minivan proudly.
I guess when I pictured myself growing up I always wanted "this". I wanted to be a mom above all things, While all of my friends were deciding what they wanted to be when they grew up I already knew. I wanted to be a mom. Plain and simple, the rest could work itself out around me but I was going to be a mom. I found out recently that a few people in my family think that I wasted my life, wasted my potential. I honestly see no waste here, I see a house that can be crazy at times but for the most part is filled with a ton of love, a lot of hugs, kisses and a boatload of encouragement. I can see where certain family memebers feel I have "wasted away a great brain for mundane life", thankfully though I don't see it that way and neither do my children. You see? I have always tested high, in 7th grade I was testing the highest in the state on standardized tests, I was above all of the HS seniors even. I passed the SAT's and my ACT's with near perfect scores and my IQ has always been very high. Does that not qualify me to be a mom? Or to want to be a mom?
I guess I feel I'm lucky in that I get to raise the next generation, that I was blessed with knowledge, understanding, and so much love that my life would have never been complete in an office working 9 to 5 or anywhere else for that matter.
UGGHHHH, I just wish some people could keep their feelings to themselves, or else look into the eyes of my children and tell them they are a waste, you pick....
posted by Jeni at 3:48 PM
5 Comments:
Now see, I can't picture you as anything other than a great Mom!!! I have a hard time picturing you in a another life as a paramedic. You are terrific. Enjoy your life!!!
You are the best at being a mom (the greatest job in the world) too!
Great entry! (I got your address from the May 2004 board). I'm sort of in a similar situation - always a "smarty", prestigious school, etc etc, and I'm "only" a guidance counselor and a mom of 3. sigh. I've heard it too.
SOOOOO SOOOOO SOOOOO not a waste at all. I want you to know that you are doing what feels right for you and that's all you should ever do. Of course, you could write a book that would use that big brain of yours! I know it would be a hit!
tag!
Post a Comment
<< Home