These our the Days of our lives...

Picture: Hannah after her cheer competition Saturday, they took second place!

What is the deal with stores these days? Hannah needs a spring coat now, it is SPRING after all and her winter coat is too warm for now. Try going into a store to find a SPRING coat in the SPRING though. UGGHH! They honestly have Fourth of July stuff out now and spring coats are long gone. We also went looking for a bike for her, it is going to be her birthday present from Mike and I. We had a good weather week for NorthEast Ohio last week and now all of the bikes that were there last week are gone! Not one bike in her size left in our area. Looks like I'm going to have to go to Toys R Us and pay a fortune to order one and have it assembled instead.

Her slumber party is now 6 girls strong and it is going to be So much fun (insert eye roll here). I remember how much fun they were when I was her age, I really really do. Now looking at it from a parents perspective it seems like the worst idea in the world! LOL! I'm hoping between the movie line up and everything else we have planned that the kids will be content. A house full of giggling 8 year olds already has my blood pressure up!

We have some work that needs to be done on the house before everyone heads down her for her First Communion. I really need to get my guest bathroom finished which means next weekend when the house will be full of giggling 8 yr olds. I'm running out of time! It has been so hectic here and I had no ambition after Hannah's all day cheer even on Saturday to do anything this weekend.

Jack is slowly getting more and more words into his vocabulary, I'm very happy about this. It's nice to see his little sense of humor blossom. He is such a jokester! Megan is just way to smart, she really needs school. She is going to be fine in Kindergarten next year. I was so worried about it but I know I"m making the right choice for her. It would be horrible to hold her back. My cousin was trying to stump Meg with math questions she gives to her second graders on Easter and Meg was shooting off answers like it was nothing. She even told Andie that she wasn't using her fingers to count in a smug voice that had us all cracking up! She can do double number addition and subtraction in her head. I think it bothers Hannah that Meg can do the same things she does. I told Hannah though it just proves what a great teacher and big sister that she is that Meg can do these things, I think she buys that for now.

I'm having issues with Migraines causing numbness in my face. I was supposed to go for a CAT scan today to rule out an acoustic neuroma but due to some storms we had over the weekend the machine is down and they will be doing the scans on a priority basis once they have it back up and running. I'm on the low end of the scale so it'll be a while before I have the scan done. I'm very nervous and scared. Mostly I'm worried I'll lose my hearing in my good ear and end up deaf. That scares the bologna outta me. I'm hoping it's nothing and that they can just get me some meds to get the headaches under control.

~ Jeni

So much to do, so little time.... And money

This has been one heck of a rollercoaster year so far! Jack having surgery, everyone getting the stomach bug the same week as surgery. Chicken Pox this last week...

I've decided to do Hannah and Jack's birthday parties with my family on Easter at my grandma's house. I'll supply the ham, and plates, silverware and napkins, everyone else brings a dish to pass and they are covered! Oh, I suppose I should bring some birthday cakes too huh? LOL!

The weekend after Easter Hannah has a huge competition in Sandusky. I have NO idea how we will afford this, I was thinking of getting a room overnight for Saturday night. It may be cheaper than driving the hour and a half back and forth with the price of gas lately. I guess it all depends on the times she competes.

Weekend after that you ask? Hannah's actual birthday. I have made NO plans for this at all yet. I think a few friends over for a sleepover and renting some tweeny bop dvd's for them and munchies. They can all sleep in the family room downstairs. UGGHHH even the prospect of 4 eight year olds giggling all night gives me the shudders EEK!

The next weekend? Hannah has first communion. We still haven't shopped for a dress yet, we will do that when we go up for Easter. Both she and my Grandma are very excited to go shopping for the dress.

And last, the weekend after First communion? Mothers day and a communion party in Michigan for Hannah. TG Meg will be done with school at the end of May and Hannah the first week of June! It's coming sooo fast this year. I can't believe Meg is going to kindergarten in the fall and Hannah to 3rd grade. I swear the time just flies.

This past weekend was very lazy considering we have so much coming up. It was also cold and wet outside so not a whole lot to do. It's supposed to be nice this week though! I think I'll meet up with a friend for the zoo tomorrow since it is supposed to be 70 degrees here and sunny! Hannah will be angry she missed out I think but at least I'll get Jack and Meg out of the house for a while, they definitely need it. Jack was a wild man last week when we had a few nice days and I took him out to play! He was sooo cute on his little 4-wheeler and tricycle. He has found the joy in bubbles and sidewalk chalk again which was cute.

So, not much going on here as you all can see, sorry to bore you all with the mundane details of my life. It is nice to have somewhere to write it all down before I explode though!

~ Jeni

Update on here I sit...

I talked to my ped and she wants to admit Jack into the hospital tonight to monitor him there. He may be having surgery on Monday instead of just a Dr appt now depending on how badly the apnea is tonight.

I'm an emotional wreck, I know it's the best thing for him but I HATE this. Why does my poor baby boy have to go through all of this? I would change him places in a heartbeat.

I'll try to update again on how it goes at the hospital and when the surgery will be now.

~Jeni

Tagged by Cathy!

I just realized I was tagged by my friend Cathy in November! I can't believe I had no idea what this was until now, shows what a dork I am! So, for you Cathy, I am FINALLY completing my Tag! LOL

• Four jobs that I have had: I was a paramedic for an ambulance company, I worked as an ER tech in a hospital, I did home health care through United Way, and I was a Nanny while I was in school to be a paramedic.
• Four movies that I can watch over and over again: You've got mail (reminds me of how I met Mike), Willy Wonka (need I explain? LOL), Any of the Harry Potter movies, and Shawshank Redemption.
• Four places I have lived: Flint Michigan, Burton Michigan, Shreveport Louisiana, And Fairview Park Ohio.
• Four TV shows I love to watch: Survivor, American Idol, How I met your mother, Still Standing.
• Four websites I read daily (or I at least check on daily): Babycenter birth club board, May Drama Mama board, MSN Celeb gossip area, and Weather.com (I"m a freak about what the weather will be... ).
• Four places I have been on vacation: DisneyWorld in Florida, Las Vegas Nevada, Chicago Illinois, and Rhode Island.
• Four favorite foods: Beef Pot roast with carrots, potatoes and onions, Beef Stew, Santa Fe cheesy taco soup, and a good steak with mushrooms.
• Four places I’d rather be: In bed taking a nap, In Michigan living near my family again, in Chicago visiting my friend and my cousins, and in Vegas baby! (soon!)
• Four people to tag: I sadly don't know four people who haven't already been tagged so I will say if you are reading and feel compelled, I tag YOU!!!! LOL

~Jeni

And here I sit..

It's 1:31 EST and I'm laying here in bed awake listening to my son and his father breathe. They both have sleep apnea and Mike hasn't put his mask on yet. He wears a Bi-pap mask to control his breathing so he gets more rest and doesn't die in his sleep. My poor baby couldn't have one of those at his age.

We go to the Dr. (ENT) on Monday, I'm begging him to put Jack on an apnea monitor that will sound if he stops breathing for too long. I hate listening to him breathe then stop for up to 56 seconds (longest tonight anyways) then take in a few large breaths to help catch up and right back to the not breathing thing again. We will be most likely scheduling surgery for tonsil and adenoid removal at that appointment. Not sure what they will do about the atresia for now. I guess if it ends up being a major factor they will have to do something.

I'm scared to death for my baby boy, I can't sleep, I've lost a ton of weight because of all of this shit. I couldn't imagine my life without him, my children are my world. I really need to make sure he is better soon and get the girls better too.

I need a vacation from my life, TG I have one coming soon, I'm just praying all of Jacks troubles are solved by then or at least he is on a monitor so that we can rest easy knowing if something were to go wrong, God forbid, that I would get to him in time to save him. As it is he is sleeping in his pack and play directly up next to my bed. I'm sleeping on my right side so I can hear him ( I'm deaf in my right ear so if I want to hear anything I have to sleep on that side).

Please keep Jack in your thoughts and prayers and please God let him be okay. I have never been so scared in my life....

~Jeni

Go away black cloud, JUST GO AWAY!

I'll start with the oldest child and work my way down.

Hannah is a sensitive kid, so to get a belly ache when she is nervous or something is wrong is normal for her. However something was different this time, she was"off". So we went to the Dr. Hannah was severely impacted and we had to do 2 enemas and we have to give her an adult dose of laxative and a teaspoon of benefiber a day at least for the next 2 weeks, then we will re-evaluate.

Her teacher is out for 8-10 weeks after being diagnosed with ovairian cancer and I know that's had on her too.


Megan has had an ongoing speech problem, we have been trying to get her placed in a program since December. I finally have another appt for ANOTHER evaluation set for Feb. 24th at 10 am. This evaluation will cover her SI issues too (ie: socks, tags, etc.).

Jack has been diagnosed with sleep apnea and a partial nasal atresia. We go to the ENT for testing and to set a surgery date for tonsil/adenoid removal at the very least on Feb. 13th.

Hannah left her adult dose of the laxative out and Jack drank 3 ozs before I caught him with it. (today) So I was on with the peds office and poison control for over 40 minutes and have to watch and wait for major runs and possible dehydration, of the JOY.

Hannah is completely beating herself up over this which sucks on so many levels.

I crashed my car yesterday, totally smashed the drivers side front quarter panel on a pole in a parking lot none the less, and now can't even open my drivers side door, I have no money to fix it right now either, so it waits.

Did I mention all of this stuff has been happening with phone calls and pleas and whatever else you can think of, for the last month (or almost 3 as in the case with Meg) ?

Not to mention the death of my cousin and various other illnesses in this house. I just need the damn black cloud to MOVE ON ALREADY DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!

So many bad things lately

I have had no many negative things going on lately in my life that I think I'm turning into a huge downer. So, it's time to post some things I'm looking forward to and to try to dig myself out of this funk.

1. I'm looking forward to going to Vegas with my friend at the beginning of March, it's a much needed break and will be a lot of fun.

2. I'm starting to look forward to this baby shower I'm throwing for my cousins wife. I think I came up with some good ideas and I'm proud of what Jaime and I decided on. It should be very nice.

3. I'm looking forward to going shopping with my Grandma and Hannah for Hannah's First Communion dress. I'm very grateful that my grandmother is still around and I'm very grateful that she is able to participate in this. I know it means a lot to her and that makes my heart happy.

4. I'm looking forward to all of the babies that are going to be born in my family this year, I love newborns and I can't wait to love and snuggle them.

5. I'm grateful that my family is also gaining 2 new members with 2 awesome weddings coming up this summer, Erica and Katie are very sweet people and David and Ryan are very lucky to have them in their lives.

6. I'm grateful that my children are thoughtful, loving, caring, compassionate people. They may be terrors at home sometimes but they are great kids who will grow into fantastic adults (just not too soon!)

There, that helped! I have a lot of positives going on in my life and it's time to focus on those for a while. I'll try to keep the negative at bay and try to start seeing the glass as half full again. Depression is no fun and I have so much to be thankful for.

~Jeni

The Blues

My cousin died the day before my birthday. He was 31 and there are some fishy circumstances but we won't know for certain why he died until the autopsy comes back, hopefully by next week.

I want to tell you all a little bit about my cousin Aaron to honor his memory. Aaron was born on Jan. 9th, 1975. His parents divorced before he was 2 and his dad married my aunt Kathy. His natural mother never really had much to do with him but my aunt Kathy loved him, clothed him, fed him all as if he were her own child. Aaron is just shy of a year younger than I am and we grew up more like siblings, me, Aaron, his sisters Heather, Cynthia and Andrea. My mom and Aunt Kathy are very close and since my mom didn't drive we did everything, and I mean everything together. Once I was able to drive Aaron and I were inseparable, I also dated his best friend for almost 2 years. Aaron and I had a falling out when I was almost 19 because he started dating this girl. He had very low self esteem and was delighted that she was interested in him because she was beautiful... On the outside. On the inside she was a mean, hateful, spiteful, rude drug addict who wanted to use him for his money. His sisters and I all tried to convince him of this but he wouldn't listen, so our long friendship ended.

About 5 years ago Aaron dumped the chick and saw the light. He stopped using drugs, cleaned up his act and became extremely responsible. He even took custody of his oldest sisters son (long story about Heather). He was lucky to have made it through all of the "bad years" unscathed. We became friendly to each other again but never went back to the relationship we once had, the trust was gone, I think. Aaron was a person that never held a grudge, he always had a smile or a word of encouragement for you. He was a practical joker, he was a giver. He loved animals and took in many strays both human and otherwise. He will be sorely missed. The morning Aaron died I awoke at 4:48am. And woke my husband up, I had a very vivid dream about Aaron which was odd, I hadn't seen him since November. He died at approximately 4:45 am. I truly believe he was saying goodbye to me.

So, to Aaron,

I love you, I will miss you forever, I will never forget who you were and what you stood for and I pray that my son has the same values and morals as you did as you grew up. You were an amazing friend and an awesome cousin and you will be missed always...

~Jeni