And here I sit..

It's 1:31 EST and I'm laying here in bed awake listening to my son and his father breathe. They both have sleep apnea and Mike hasn't put his mask on yet. He wears a Bi-pap mask to control his breathing so he gets more rest and doesn't die in his sleep. My poor baby couldn't have one of those at his age.

We go to the Dr. (ENT) on Monday, I'm begging him to put Jack on an apnea monitor that will sound if he stops breathing for too long. I hate listening to him breathe then stop for up to 56 seconds (longest tonight anyways) then take in a few large breaths to help catch up and right back to the not breathing thing again. We will be most likely scheduling surgery for tonsil and adenoid removal at that appointment. Not sure what they will do about the atresia for now. I guess if it ends up being a major factor they will have to do something.

I'm scared to death for my baby boy, I can't sleep, I've lost a ton of weight because of all of this shit. I couldn't imagine my life without him, my children are my world. I really need to make sure he is better soon and get the girls better too.

I need a vacation from my life, TG I have one coming soon, I'm just praying all of Jacks troubles are solved by then or at least he is on a monitor so that we can rest easy knowing if something were to go wrong, God forbid, that I would get to him in time to save him. As it is he is sleeping in his pack and play directly up next to my bed. I'm sleeping on my right side so I can hear him ( I'm deaf in my right ear so if I want to hear anything I have to sleep on that side).

Please keep Jack in your thoughts and prayers and please God let him be okay. I have never been so scared in my life....

~Jeni