Chocolate Milk or Grape juice?

Yep, that's the title. Megan asked for something to drink this morning, I went to the fridge, opened it up assessed the contents and asked "Would you like Chocolate Milk or Grape juice?" Well, let me tell you, I must have spoken in that alien mom language I seem to posses. You know the language, the one that you tell your child (ren) to quiet down, stop jumping, brush their teeth, go to bed in? That foreign language you had no idea you spoke in? Where they look at you as if you have 2 heads and they understood nothing of which you said? Precious Megan stood in front of me looking into the fridge herself, as if I never said a word, assessing the situation herself. "Can I have Coke?" "No Meg, Chocolate Milk or Grape juice, that's it." "Ohhhhh, what's THIS?!" "Meg, that is cheese, come on, I gave you a choice, we have been standing here for 5 min already please pick." "Ok, I pick chocolate." I then proceed to get the milk out to make chocolate milk and she screams as if I'm across a football field from her "NOOOOOOOOOO, I JUST want chocolate, no milk!" "Sorry kiddo, you can not have just chocolate, the milk must go in, that's the way it works."

Now, as you can imagine, I go through this same conversation at least 5 times a day. I do understand that for her just shy of 4 years old self it is a hard concept to grasp that you can't have everything you ask for, it's just not fair. Megan has got to be the sweetest most compassionate of my children, she means very well, tries so hard to make everything fair for everyone and always has a kind word for everyone. She is extremely outgoing and energetic, If I could bottle her enthusiasm for life and what it has to offer Id be one heck of a rich mommy. She is also my Megamonster. She has always been very.... Busy, for lack of a better term. She gets into everything, nothing is safe in her path. She has to know how and why things work, and hey, if that means that she has to tear it apart to find out she's game! I live most days with her knowing that I am blessed but I go to bed every night with the same question in my head, Do I hug her or strangle her? She pushes me to my limits, makes me out of my mind with fury and in the next second gives me that award winning smile and a huge kiss, she says "I love you momma" and it all melts away. That is until I go into a room she formerly occupied and there is a lotion bottle shoved down the toilet, and make up all over the floor, deodorant sprayed on the mirror, shaving cream piled in the sink and at least a dozen bandaid wrappers littering the floor. I have decided with Megan in my life things will never be dull, and if I don't laugh I'd have to cry. Since laughter is good for the soul I will continue to laugh, just not when she can hear me!

Pop Overs

No, not the kind you eat! I'm talking about the people that feel it is ok to pop in on you with no notice at all. I have decided there are the "pop over" people and the "never pop in on me people". I fall into the pleaseneverpopinonme category. With 3 kids one being a Megamonster, and another being a very busy 15 month old my house is never in a just pop over kind of condition. I had a "pop over" yesterday, the PTA president from the school my oldest daughter doesn't attend now. I resigned my position and I told the woman I would drop off the books yesterday, but you see, since she was in "the neighborhood" she thought it would be ok. I dread those "pop over" types, they annoy me. I have a very good friend that is the "pop over" type, let's just say thank goodness I'm not on her way to many places! Martha Stewart I am not!

My next line of business here is that my baby bear is sick, his poor tushie is fire engine red and he is now running a slight fever, I have been lucky, this is the first illness since summer started. I know earlier I said I love the Fall, but, I do not love the illnesses that come with winter. The joys of the stay at home mom!

Later!

The rule of 3

The day of my trip began in an interesting way, I strongly believe in the rule of 3 you see. 3 things had to go wrong for the rest of the trip to go right, everything in my life has always come in 3's, deaths, catastrophes, good things, you name it, it comes in 3's for me. So I'll start this blog with my 3 things from my anniversary trip to Vegas.

It started out waking up with all 3 kids howling, yes howling, they tend to do that at times, why in the world they were up so early is beyond me, I was sure they would sleep through our departure. The night before our trip we called a cab company and made arrangements for a cab to be at our house at 7:40 am, our flight left at 9am and we live 10 minutes from the airport so we figured that was a safe time. 7:40 came and went, at 7:50 I called the cab company to ask where the hell our cab was, they assured me it was on the way and would be here soon, ok, no big deal, I will just not get that cuppa joe before the flight, I'll scrape through security and make it to the gate just before boarding. 8am comes and is quickly going, I had my husband call the cab company yet again, the first cab was delayed but no problem, they are sending a replacement. 8:09am I rush to throw all of my kids, bags, sitter and husband into our minivan because the damn cab still isn't here. My sitter is 17 and has never driven to the airport but I have no choice if I want to make it through security and board on time or at least before last call. That is #1.

Fast forward to the security line, you ever notice the ONE person you do NOT under any circumstances want to have to deal with but you know damn well you are going to end up next to said person?? There was this lady in line, she was about 6'2 and pretty wide, she was shaking probably from parkinsons disease and couldn't remember where she put her boarding pass, and no one told her that she had to have her ID, so 10 minutes later she finally finds it in her carpet type bag, all the while holding up the security line. I swear the woman's bag reminded me of Mary Poppins bag, full of everything imaginable. We finally make it through security and off we go to our gate, the minute we arrived there they called our section so we got right in line 3 people behind "carpet bag lady". So, we get on the plane get to our seats and "carpet bag lady" is trying for ever to put said carpet bag into the overhead, this took 5 minutes, I kid you not, if I would have been closer to her I would have helped but instead the people in front of me were just rude to her and stared impatiently as she struggled, which I'm positively sure caused her to take longer because she was flustered. SO, she looks at the row number and sits down..... In MY seat, I need a window seat, I feel very tense when I don't have one, it really causes me to have panic attacks also, this is a large woman and my husband is a large man. He looks at me pleadingly and BEGS for me to take the middle seat, there is no way they could sit next to each other with both of them being so big. So, I act like the good wife, the flight was actually overbooked, "carpet bag lady" would NOT move and I'm mostly non-confrontational so I sit. It was a 4 hour flight, I sat with my elbows in my belly button squished between this woman and my husband. This woman not only took up her seat but also 2/3 of my seat, I lifted the arm rest between my husband and I (he took up some of my seat too) and finally had 8 inches where I could sit for 4 hours uncomfortably. That was #2.

We arrive in Phoenix with a 2 hour layover and the first thing I do is go grab a cuppa joe, I guess I should have had a few shots instead, I had panic attack after panic attack on the flight and I was still grossed out from "carpet bag lady" slurping peaches throughout the flight and dripping on me and while she was doing that she was falling over on me while she slept and drooled. Anyways, I get my cuppa joe and promptly spill it all over myself, and of course I have nothing to change into, I now own a nice Arizona t-shirt and some denim shorts that will forever be brown and smell of caramel machiato.

Monday night of our trip we went out to dinner and then went to a comedy club. I"m not much of a drinker but I'd had a few and was feeling no pain while watching the first comic but I had to tinkle BADLY! We were sitting at the table right in the front (I don't recommend this at a comedy club by the way) I held it until the first comic was done and the host came out, I then got up quickly to run to the restroom before the next comic came on, well guess what? The next comic had the shortest introduction in the history of the world and here I was the brunt of a million jokes as I tried to walk out to go tot he bathroom. I made it back in just in time to have my breasts ridiculed, it was a fun night! LOL! I had a few more drinks won a few hundred dollars and we went off to our room.

to be continued...

I love parades, they make me feel so... umm... Small town America, like everyone CAN get together to celebrate and have a good time. Nothing like showing some hometown spirit. Of course, this is not my hometown but is is my kids hometown. Hannah is in the Summerfest parade tomorrow, she is marching with her cheer group and throwing candy to all of the kids on her way, how excited is she??? LOL

How is it that I can take my kids out all day to go swimming and they are soooo exhausted from it, yet they don't sleep? Sorry, as you can tell I was just interuppted again, thanks Meg!

So, I actually have a funny story from today! A little background : My dryer was broken, and as you can imagine in my house that means 10 loads of laundry in no time, I had to call the repair people to come out and fix it (TG for home warranty's) anyways the lady called me this am and said that she didn't have an exact time they would be here but she would call to let me know before they just showed up at my door. I thought that was nice, don't want anyone barging in on me in the shower right?? (are you seeing where this is going?) Ok so, my friend was over this morning, after she left I got Jack down for a nap and went to shower. Next thing I know I am shaving in a rather delicate area and I hear the bathroom door fly open, "mommmmm, mommmm the dryer guy is here, mommmmmm!" I took the flippin phone to the bathroom with me just in case the chick called me WTH??? So I had to get dried off and dressed (half shaved mind you) to run to the door before "the dryer guy" took off. UUGHHH I swear the guy was a perv too, it's like he knew I was half shaven too. He was creepy, fortunately he was fast too, good riddance dryer guy. So, now here I sit blogging when I should be doing my mountains of laundry to prepare for my trip. Oh, and I guess I should hop back into the shower so I can finish up that delicate area.. ;)

Dang kids.... Another interupption... Hannah now....

Ok so, where was I? Oh yeah... Psycho dryer guy... Half shaven....laundry...trip..... yep, that about wraps it up. I need to go put a load in and head to bed!

Why is it that hard???

What makes it SO hard for men (my husband in particular) to clean up after themselves or god forbid even after their own children? Why does he never put a trash bag back in the trash can after emptying it? Or replace the toilet paper roll? He knows where it goes, maybe he doesn't know how the little springs go in and you pull the old roll off to put the new roll on? He will leave the new roll on top of the old roll, like it's a toilet paper roll rest. If he chooses to do laundry he does just his laundry, no one else's.

I know I'm in a funk right now. I NEED fall to come, I need to know that the kids will be at school, that I will have 2 hours a day that during which I pray that Jack will nap so I can actually get stuff done in peace in quiet.

I love fall, it is hands down my favorite season. I love the smells of fall, the crisp air, the colors of the leaves on the trees, then on the ground, Jeans and T-shirt weather, trips to the orchard, kids back in school. ROUTINE, yep, I'm the freak who loves the routine of fall, I know my kids will be in bed at 8pm, I know what shows are on when, I know that I will stay up to watch the weather on the 11pm news and then go to sleep myself. I know I will spend weekends in the yard hunkering it down for winter. I know I will spend other weekends at the orchards picking apples, picking pumpkins, and then back home to make apple pies.

When I tell people fall is my favorite season they laugh as if I jest, Why would Fall, which is essentially the death of everything, be your favorite season? I answer simply, Fall is the most beautiful. No mud from Spring rains, no excessive heat that we get in the summer, no snow yet which we of course are always piled with to soon. Fall colors are by far the most beautiful in my opinion, spring colors are too bright by the time they come out, almost fake, taunting, HAHAHA I will give you these pretty colors but you have to work to keep them during the hot miserable summer. Summer heat is cruel almost, I can handle being cold because I can always add more clothes, or add a blanket but in summer you can only be so naked and your still burning up. Winter here is cruel too, we get so much snow from Lake Erie, and we of course have the lake effects breeze. Anyone who lives near a Great Lake can attest to that statement.

Did you see my bad story teller post? Then you will understand, my whole point is I am patiently (or not so patiently) awaiting fall.

The WORST Story Teller

I have decided I must be the absolute worst story teller of all time. I start out with good intentions but I get side tracked easily and totally forget my point by the end. I will go off and give you so many details your interest wanes. My mom is the worst for me to tell a story to, it's always "Can you just get to your point?". Maybe those little details are important to my point, how does she know? I catch myself saying that to Hannah though, and I know that's not so great for her self esteem. The joys of motherhood, I swear. I think I'm right saving for therapy instead of college, they will get more out of therapy after growing up with me.

New to this

This is going to be my place, my place away from my kids, away from my husband, away from all of the crap that goes on here daily. I need this to vent, discuss my life (mostly with myself) You know a place to get perspective, put things in order...... Ok done for now, to hard to type with this flippin cast on.